


Silent screams

by Dimdive



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fear, Fear of Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22295176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dimdive/pseuds/Dimdive
Summary: A snippet out of Starscreams life as a Decepticon in the middle of a war.Warning: This is not happy.
Relationships: Skywarp & Starscream & Thundercracker, Skywarp/Starscream/Thundercracker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Silent screams

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "You don't own me" by Grace and G-Easy.  
> https://youtu.be/8SeRU_ZPDkE  
> I wrote this in the middle of the night because I felt like it. This time the original is in English.

Starscream laid on his berth, tired, but couldn't close his optics. Every time he tried to hold stasis, those pictures came up in his mind, pictures of brutal black servos, red optics and glowing energon on rough walls.   
He stared up to the lamp on the ceiling, bright and aggressive, as if it tried to represent the cause he followed for such a long time now.   
Bright, that described Megatron pretty well to. First he was like a blaze that fought for freedom. Now, he wasn't more than a conflagration, growing and stretching his tentacles out into the minds and body's of everyone that dared to look at him for too long.   
Starscream had stared for millenias. Burning up in the heat of an exploding sun. But he couldn't stop now. He could never. Not after everything that happened.   
Slowly he closed his heavy opticlids, welcoming the darkness around him. But it didn't take long for his wings to start trembling. The pictures were so clear. They were moving.   
The minerallic stench of spilled energon filled the cold air. He could feel the wounds burning. Felt dizzy, sick. His back arched and a dry sob escaped him when the remainings of his cockpit crunshed.  
He could feel him watch. He could feel the look in his optics and how he stood there. Powerful and mighty as always, with energon smeared servos and clawmarks on his arms.   
He forced his own optics open. Shaking. Nervous he touched the glass of his cockpit, looked down to his arms and chest, checked for missing limbs. But there was no energon, no wounds, nobody would see the harm. Thin scars would always tell stories about nearly silent encounters in ignored rooms, caves, pain and fear. But those scars were only visible for anyone who came close to him and that happened rarely.   
Subconscious the seeker felt his throat. No thick digits.   
"You...", he whispered to the walls. Checked if the door was locked for the third time. Thought how this was just one night out of many. He already knew how this would end. At some point, stasis would get him. And when he woke up, he would have to go out there. Look at him. Let him come close. Endure his overwhelming presence.   
He would be forced to do whatever he got told or feel the consequences.  
"You don't own me."

He was right, stasis got him finally, but an alarm made him wake up instantly. The sound was so familiar, but still he'd mishear it for something else every time.   
He took some kliks to stare an the door and tried to convince himself to open it. In the end he just got forced by the time.   
The hallway was empty, but soft voices swirled around him, followed him.  
He never told anyone. Why should he? They were dead and left a gaping abyss behind. It was his right to listen to them if they talked.   
They both spoke in languages he couldn't understand, but the voices alone were enough to keep him walking.  
The mechs already worked on the bridge. Megatron stood at the side, Soundwave next to him. They watched the big room, ignored him.   
He was relived.   
There were two reports he had to finish, so he sat down and started working.   
After a while, Megatron came closer. Starscream desperately tried to hold his wings high up in the air, but they sank with every step the grey mech took. Humiliating.   
Then he stood right behind him. The soft voices were upset, just like him, but made him sit still. Everything inside the seeker screamed for a door to open next to him he could escape trough.  
Megatron leaned over him, his shadow fell upon the datapads. Starscreams spark was rotating faster every klik, he felt like he was choking on the presence behind him.   
A black servo moved next to his helmet. A digit stretched out. Pointing at the datapad, more specific, the last sentence he wrote down.  
"I think you misspelled something there."  
The seeker flinched at the sudden sound of the dark voice. So close, he could feel the heat of the big frame.   
Something inside of him snapped. Panic filled him, took him, drowned him. Silent screams filled his helmet, the voices begging for him to get out of there.  
But he didn't move an inch, just sat there, trembling in agony.   
Starscream hesitantly opened his mouth. "You don't..."  
"What?", Megatron asked immediately. "Did you say something, Starscream?"  
Scared, he wasn't able speak the sentence out loud, the words burning in his vocalisor like acid.   
...own me.   
The voices were screeching in fear, sounding just like an alarm clock.


End file.
